::Recently I've been feeling out of sorts totally. I've looked at other peoples world and somehow I feel like I want to be part of their world. I mean seriously can humans survive being on their own or just knowing that small group of people? I don't get people who are lone wolves or people who are anti-social. How do you live like that, how can you live in silence? How can you choose not to know someone just so you can be yourself? Would talking to people actually kill you? I doubt so but I'm just feeling troubled that there are such people around. And talking about this its not that I don't want to be with the Anti-N, its just that sometimes I wish we could do more than lan, study, swim, ball, eat, walk walk. I mean we should do something totally out there like make a website, make a ban, make a print. I mean something totally crazy and wild so people would be like " HEY LOOK ITS THOSE GUYS FROM ANTI-N!!! I HEARD THEY DID SOMETHING REAL CRAZY LETS CHECK IT OUT!!!!" and we'd be so willing to welcome people into the clique as long as you're not anti-social and a total douche bag.

Nothing wrong with not letting people in I mean I've been shunned for being hyper active and being a non-conformist. Hey I mean seriously people like Yuuka, Kisa, they seriously found me annoying just cause I am the way I am. I mean I really would have loved to stay friends with them but if they can't accept me for the way I am then fuck off seriously I don't need people who can't adapt in my social circle. I'm not hard up for friends or anything but I still don't like losing friends.

Either way I'm like totally bored with life right now, I wanna do something exciting and I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about something I can look back 20 years and say, hey I did something wild when I was 17 and I still got the photos and scars to prove it. Like I want to train to become a great fighter in my youth. I want to become a scholar for my own sake and be smart for myself and no one else. I want to do something with this life since its only 1 lifetime I get to live in this body.

Yeah so in a nutshell todays post is about me wanting to do something totally crazy and me crapping about people who most likely are too stuck up about themselves to think about why people wanted to befriend them in the first place.

Oh yeah and if you are like totally sick of love life things don't read on.(I'm talking to you YH XD)(Seriously my blog needs more narratives and YH I'm just joking read on if you like I think its something you'll face with in future)

I'm trying to find the balance in myself to fix up the lust or love option in me. I mean its not that I want to be lusty or desperate for a girlfriend. If I really just wanted to date for the sake of dating I could've just dated any girl I choose at whim unless she was seriously self-righteous and had a total princess attitude. I don't think I'm in love with any girl right now though but I'm seriously considering wanting to engage in a relationship totally based of intelligence and not bodily wants. I mean thats half of what I want in a romance but the other half will just have to wait till I'm married I guess or at least until I seriously can fall in love with a girl. And to all teenagers, don't bullshit yourself there's no fucking way you'd be in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend the way your parents were in love. Why? CAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING TEENAGER AND ITS YOUR HORMONES ASSHOLE. I mean you can seriously like a girl and want to go steady and protect her with your whole self but that doesn't mean you love her. Unless you spent at least 6 years knowing her otherwise you're just lying to yourself. And last bit of advice to anyone out there. Don't go for looks, it isn't what you really want. If you want something go for their brains or their heart, sometimes its whats inside that more beautiful than whats outside.::

.:Fireport blogged on 10:44 PM:.
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