::My god I'm so beat today. Growl.......
Talked to my guidance councilor today on the way home. She told me not to think about the girl I like or anything else until I get into poly. I think I'm going to listen to her, even if it means I might get heartbroken or something. Even if it means I have to like totally give up on romance. I would do it. I don't know why but my councilor, she always gave me the right advice and I always tried to run away from it just cause it sounded bad or sad but this time I know there's no running from it.

I guess I have to put the Casanova mindset back on the shelf and just work hard at what I like doing. Music,art,dance,fighting....

Anyways on a less personal note.... MATH HAS FRIED MY BRAIN SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM ACCOUNTS AND I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE FROM ALL THESE FUCKING NUMBERS GARH!!!!!!

I seriously hate numbers and counting and multiplying and dividing and fucking finding angles and thinking about accounts and doing accounts or anything with numbers. Just seriously no affinity with numbers at all man I mean totally I seriously suck with numbers. I don't even know why they wanted to force us to learn so much math and accounts in the first place. Isn't it enough we know how to multiply, divide, plus and minus? Isn't it enough we can fucking count our money and know where to do it? lol I know it sounds a bit basic but its true I rather it be totally easier than now garh!!!!

God I need another cup of coffee.....::

.:Fireport blogged on 3:49 PM:.
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::~Customization Update~

I changed my blog song to TAO so I can slowly reminisce on the past and see them in a lighter point of view.

=)::

.:Fireport blogged on 12:25 AM:.

::Ok ok So I'm a little lazy on the changing of the blog skin thing but what the heck right??
XDXD

I've recently caught the DAI bug again. Yes people DAI, the japanese band which split in 2005(T.T I was so devastated). Their music has always been in tune with my emotions and they've always kept me going.I mean songs like Tooku Made(遠くまで） have made me not fear leaving home and not looking back. That song made me grit my teeth and keep walking even when I wanted to turn around and run home.

The song Shinjitsu no Uta（真実の詩）fit my emotions on most accounts when I was sad and let me sway with its tune.Sometimes the truth is sweeter than the lie it taught me.

Then comes another song, Fukai Mori(深い森), it let me pour my heart out when I was in heartbreak and the emotion of the song let me mellow down when I was trying to get over failed relationships or just felt that the world was unfair.

Tangerine Dream, one the first few songs from this band had helped me by telling me that even when I'm far away. My family and friends will always be thinking of me and that no matter how bad things seem I should always chase my dreams all the way.

Then there are songs which make me look back on the past and sometimes even make me shed a tear when I miss the days I have with my nakama. I mean the days I've treasured most are those with my nakama in school. The days with alvin,kunshuan,vinodh and the rest of the guys. Training in the hot sun. Sitting down together watching the sun go down. I mean those are the good days which helped me stick together. The song which helps me with this is the song TAO which is their last single.(Trivia Fact: Van Tomiko cried so much during the MV that the MV deadline was delayed for a few extra takes)

Songs which make you miss those you have lost must be the worst of all right? Not true this time, the song Yesterday and Today, even though its a goodbye song in some sort. Its like telling your friends not to be sad that we are parting but be glad cause we might see each other again and have many stories to tell when everything is over.

Surprisingly I have no songs to make me remember days with my ex-girlfriends in my DAI obsession. The truth is I guess that my love life isn't as important to me as my days with my friends and the days I've spent in my school even if I bore a grudge to some teachers and gave a long face to others.

I'm going to miss Fajar when I graduate this year. Its a bit too late to think back and say "hey I should have done that you know" but I know I'll look back and say "I did that and I don't regret it cause I've already done it".

I miss the good ol' days. Why did we all have to grow up.....::

.:Fireport blogged on 12:04 AM:.
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::I'm in a serious dilemma right now....
Don't ask why or what I just need to rant about it. Its math tomorrow, I did ok in english and chem but I don't know about tomorrow. I'm just so tensed up about it...
Argh I'm going to sleep...
I'll change my blog skin tomorrow or something, plus I hate the rain...::

.:Fireport blogged on 10:34 PM:.
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::Recently I've been feeling out of sorts totally. I've looked at other peoples world and somehow I feel like I want to be part of their world. I mean seriously can humans survive being on their own or just knowing that small group of people? I don't get people who are lone wolves or people who are anti-social. How do you live like that, how can you live in silence? How can you choose not to know someone just so you can be yourself? Would talking to people actually kill you? I doubt so but I'm just feeling troubled that there are such people around. And talking about this its not that I don't want to be with the Anti-N, its just that sometimes I wish we could do more than lan, study, swim, ball, eat, walk walk. I mean we should do something totally out there like make a website, make a ban, make a print. I mean something totally crazy and wild so people would be like " HEY LOOK ITS THOSE GUYS FROM ANTI-N!!! I HEARD THEY DID SOMETHING REAL CRAZY LETS CHECK IT OUT!!!!" and we'd be so willing to welcome people into the clique as long as you're not anti-social and a total douche bag.

Nothing wrong with not letting people in I mean I've been shunned for being hyper active and being a non-conformist. Hey I mean seriously people like Yuuka, Kisa, they seriously found me annoying just cause I am the way I am. I mean I really would have loved to stay friends with them but if they can't accept me for the way I am then fuck off seriously I don't need people who can't adapt in my social circle. I'm not hard up for friends or anything but I still don't like losing friends.

Either way I'm like totally bored with life right now, I wanna do something exciting and I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about something I can look back 20 years and say, hey I did something wild when I was 17 and I still got the photos and scars to prove it. Like I want to train to become a great fighter in my youth. I want to become a scholar for my own sake and be smart for myself and no one else. I want to do something with this life since its only 1 lifetime I get to live in this body.

Yeah so in a nutshell todays post is about me wanting to do something totally crazy and me crapping about people who most likely are too stuck up about themselves to think about why people wanted to befriend them in the first place.

Oh yeah and if you are like totally sick of love life things don't read on.(I'm talking to you YH XD)(Seriously my blog needs more narratives and YH I'm just joking read on if you like I think its something you'll face with in future)

I'm trying to find the balance in myself to fix up the lust or love option in me. I mean its not that I want to be lusty or desperate for a girlfriend. If I really just wanted to date for the sake of dating I could've just dated any girl I choose at whim unless she was seriously self-righteous and had a total princess attitude. I don't think I'm in love with any girl right now though but I'm seriously considering wanting to engage in a relationship totally based of intelligence and not bodily wants. I mean thats half of what I want in a romance but the other half will just have to wait till I'm married I guess or at least until I seriously can fall in love with a girl. And to all teenagers, don't bullshit yourself there's no fucking way you'd be in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend the way your parents were in love. Why? CAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING TEENAGER AND ITS YOUR HORMONES ASSHOLE. I mean you can seriously like a girl and want to go steady and protect her with your whole self but that doesn't mean you love her. Unless you spent at least 6 years knowing her otherwise you're just lying to yourself. And last bit of advice to anyone out there. Don't go for looks, it isn't what you really want. If you want something go for their brains or their heart, sometimes its whats inside that more beautiful than whats outside.::

.:Fireport blogged on 10:44 PM:.
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::Somehow playing the song Spanish Romance has made me feel like I seriously need to let my emotions out to someone and share my heartaches....

Its not like I can't live with girls but I feel there is a type of love that this world has lost and I want to bring it back. Somehow I feel the song Spanish Romance carries the message which I want to convey. A song of heroes and damsels, a song of lovers who meet under the star light. I was born 200 years too late and almost half a world too far.

The romance I'm looking for has long died in the old world which has passed.....

Fuck sex and lust....

I'm looking for something more than what people now can usually give....::

.:Fireport blogged on 11:21 PM:.

::I'm officially going funny and crazy at the same. I'm seriously just bored out of it and yes I am now guilt free. I've given up wanting to be forgiven and have let that burden pass. Now I'm out in the light and totally a free man, all the more now I can get what I want from everyone.

Don't ask me what it is. I'm not telling until I have it. I want different things from different people so yes, if you are a nymph you know what I want. If you are a geek you know what I want. If you a are an artist I have a "name" and now you know what I want.(watch bakuman for this) If you are my teacher teach me things I don't know.

I want something now, which is to get good grade for my o's. TO ALL WHO TAKE o's NEXT WEEK ON GOOD LUCK!!!!::

.:Fireport blogged on 8:53 PM:.
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::This is a special announcement people. I've recently found this blog which really strikes an interest with me. Its called Tragic Love Affair, but fret not it ain't no super emo robot blog. Its a cool blog with good art work which I seem to like a lot.

Yeah her name is Jols and this is her blog. I happened to pass by it and took a liking to her works so yeah check it out at this LINK and remember to tag and comment on the good things about her artwork.(which are plentyfull)

and to others who missed this link I will be placing her link on my link part of the blog so remember to check that out including Coffee and Tea and Alex's blog.

I don't link blogs unless I like them you know XD::

.:Fireport blogged on 12:18 AM:.

::Somehow hearing about some problem today has seriously made my blood boil. I'm not going into details the very thought of it has me pumping blood through my whole body making me want to kill the person who has caused this problem. gargh I'm seriously pissed right now.

Anyways today was the start of my consultation week and I woke up around 8 after sleeping at midnight last night. Went to school to ask my teacher for help and got everything prepared for tomorrow when I go see her. I'm planning to have breakfast and do some SS homework before handing it to her at 11 and then meeting her again around 1 or 2 to do the overview of the work since Alvin isn't really free tomorrow. Guess I'll have to tell Amanda later or something.

I tried something new yesterday when I was toying with my pictures once again and it was adding some sort of filter to the picture before colouring anything. I know its super simple but I really like what I did with it. And remember I have totally no talent in art whatsoever so my standards are really not that high even if I like to judge things.

Take a look


It looks kinda eerie yeah I know but I'll try for better pictures next time.

I'm using what I took a few months ago when I cut my hair so yeah its not really what you'd call good work anyways I'm beat with all the problems of today.

Ciao::

.:Fireport blogged on 12:08 AM:.
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::COULD NOT SLEEP THE WHOLE BLOODY NIGHT LAST NIGHT!!!!
I only fell asleep when the sun came up and I'm up 3 hours later. I don't even feel tired. Spent the whole night talking to coffee(no I'm not crazy just check my links). Then decided to go offline at 3 cause my parents were moving outside.(-.0 god knows what they were doing outside at that unearthly hour) So instead of getting caught and and a nagging I went straight to my bed and sat there in the darkness staring into blank space and just kept thinking about what she and I talked about the whole night.(No I am not interested in that manner please think straight she's just a close friend =.=) And she also introduced a new song to me called "Paper Bag" by Fiona Apple(SONY BMG 2000). lol

Yeah and here I am now thinking of what else can I do with my pictures that I can toy with it. I'm planning to go to cineleisure or bugis later in the day. Maybe I can get a glimpse of what my friends call pretty girls and such =/. My definition of beauty is definitely more than skin deep and truthfully I don't even know if I met a beautiful girl yet since there hasn't been a girl that could entrance me so badly I'd stop eating and all that. Or rather I doubt I've met a girl who really loved me enough to care more than needed. Well who cares about that I've got my life to live and my songs to play and my friends to be with. Who cares about whether I got a broad with me( no offense on the female degatory terms I'm on a roll here) or not as long as I'm happy right?

lol
I'll be doing some other art work later in the day post it up at night
Be sure to check it out::

.:Fireport blogged on 10:56 AM:.

::Due to pure boredom and the fact that I'm not tired yet and its too late to play any musical instruements. I HAVE ONCE AGAIN TINKERED WITH MY PHOTOS AND HERE ARE THE RESULTS.



I'm not much of a handsome bugger but I hope with my red contacts next year I could make an impact on anyones life. Yes in this pic I look slightly better cause my hairs been well made and done and I am listening to my favourite thing on earth..... MUSIC!!!!

AND WOW HERE HERE LOOKY HERE MY HEADSET GIVES OF AND OMNIOUS BLUE GLOW!!!!


Yeah I should smile more but I can't smile if you've seen me IRL, you'll know I only laugh a lot but I don't smile much cause when I smile my face goes all weird and stuff.

Well i'm not going to say ciao but I'm going to say




SEE YOU IN LIKE ANOTHER HOUR IF I'M STILL AWAKE!!!!::

.:Fireport blogged on 1:57 AM:.

::Just realised something. I NEED A NEW CAMERA!!!!!!!
My phone has no cam, I have no cam. I NEED A CAMERA!!!!
Hey wait ain't I getting one by January? Nevermind then =)::

.:Fireport blogged on 1:07 AM:.

::Something I did in the afternoon which I call the "FREAKS LOOKING AT YOU"

yeah its kinda stupid I know.But still I was trying to do something new today and yeah double coloured eyes was the first thing I could think of




This is the one with something extra. Looks like I got moss growing outta my face. But yeah that is how I'd look if I study too long and got moulds on my face haha.

Its pretty lame I guess but at least I'm still trying to do something




On other news I'm slowly getting ready for my O's and doing my final moments of study for the subjects I need help in. and also I LOST MY CAPO WHICH I JUST BOUGHT TODAY T.T SUPER GARGHED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

oh yeah and I totally hate my internet cause its slow like hell and took me 3 minutes to do this post cause of the pictures.

YES PEOPLE THAT MEANS I POST WITHOUT THINKING WHAT I'M DOING AND YES LIVE WITH IT !!!!!

Anyways ciao its like 1 am I still need to do some small artwork before I sleep and test out my new manga accents brush ciao.::

.:Fireport blogged on 12:47 AM:.
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::Been trying to do some photo manipulation after seeing some blogs about it here's what I came up with
It isn't much but at least its better than my old work


This is me in cursed seal mode with red eyes (I'm lame live with it XD)

This is me with red eyes. I'm really trying to get the hang of doing the eyes thing cause its kinda hard for me.


This is me with the red eyes and a scar to prove I had surgery haha. ( I LOVE KAKASHI!!!!)


Thats me being lame haha and I got another hour before my birthday is over hahaha
Ciao::

.:Fireport blogged on 10:21 PM:.

::HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

Yes people this Baka is finally 17 and totally loving it. I started the day on a good note and now I'm ending it on a better note haha sadly no girls are wishing me a good night today haha. I didn't have a harem of girls wishing me happy birthday too. (editor:Serves you right XD)

Yes and I am still single and not gay yet so yeah girls COME AND GET SOME MUAHAHHAHA!!!!!! ITS MY BIRTHDAY I DESERVE TO BE A SELF-CONCIETED DUMBASS WITH NO BRAINS!!!!!

lol

The one day I'm entitled to become a total baka and a total doofus lol.

Anyways started the day with breakfast at mcdonalds and a full day of sleep in school due to the fact that the coffee at home taste like piss ash without milk.(I drink black coffee only if I feel emo and I'm pretty hyped on my birthday)So after school went with alvin christina xin yu to meet chen zhou and kelvin to eat at KFC. We saw pearlyn(go to al's blog then ms piggy) and kengying there. Had a hearty meal then proceeded to go look for phones at the M1 shop in the first floor. Then Christina bought 2 slices of cake for the four of us to share(THANKS ALOT =D) and we had it at Garden Plaza along with a long chat which left her bored haha( Sorry =/).
Then we all went home.

Then afterwards went home showered and waited till 6 for my aunt to join us to eat at Swensen's which I TOTALLY LOVE THEIR STEAKS!!!! It was soooo juicy and the meat was so tender that I could chew it and enjoy the full taste of the beef. and I totally enjoyed myself there and now here i am at home typing this blog post.

PRESENTING NOW THE NEW OMMISION.BLOGSPOT.COM WITH 50% LESS EMO AND 0% MORE NARRATIVES!!!!!!

I'm 17 I deserve to be happy,cocky and complecent about life.
I'm 17 I don't need to listen to the rambles of others to decide on what I want.
I'm 17 and I will get the girl I want no matter how hard I fall and fail when I find her.
I'm 17 I won't bitch and whine about not having a girlfriend or having to play a hard piece.
I'm 17 I don't care what people say about my fashion sense I'm unique and I am who I am.
I'm 17 I'm not fucking going to care what people think about my friends and just stick to them.
I'm 17 I can't wait till I turn 18 and start talking about what I'm going to do.
I'm 17 now but in a blink of an eye I'll be 34 wondering what I did wrong or right in my life XD

Cya all peeps::

.:Fireport blogged on 9:16 PM:.
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::I noticed something listening to love songs and watching the rain today. I'm still not ready to settle down and get a girlfriend so yeah that means I can totally forget about getting a girl. Its understandable since I've already have so many already and I'm some how regretful of not waiting for a girl to come to me instead of me going to a girl.

I guess somewhere down in me I just need to find a song that I can play till someone appears.::

.:Fireport blogged on 5:33 PM:.
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::Seriously man I'm totally pissed these few days. My internet has been so fucked up I can't log on for more than 5 minutes without having to experience major lag or having to reset my internet connection. Gargh it is so annoying. Growl

And in other matters I'm learning the song Qing Fei De Yi. I know I'm like a decade behind time to learn it but its still nice hahah. Musical Journeys are forever on going no matter how much you want them to stop. I need to study harder too I scored 25 for my prelims which is far too high and almost double my score which is expected.

whatever this baka-san(named by the sotongs of 4E) is signing off now and please check up more on the sotong chibi smapmunk-chan(thats alvin also coined by the sotongs) blog and tag our blogs for more updates on what happened yesterday I think

I'm lazy hahaha
Jiana::

.:Fireport blogged on 6:38 AM:.
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