::Surprisingly today for dinner I had no appetite to eat at all. It comes as a type of weirdness for me cause I'm usually very hungry no matter how much I eat. But today nothing just seems to want to go down my throat. I just can't figure out why.....

Been reading D. Grayman. Somehow I feel, sorry if this offends DGM fans I'm not a wannabe but, Allan Walker reminds me of myself. Or rather he helps me remind myself what to do when I fail. Reading DGM has made me slowly helped me distract myself from her I guess. But hey if it really did distract me from her would I still be talking about her now? Haha the irony in the truth of the statements I make.

Relax my friends I'm not emo or anything today just feeling very weird and out of sorts in a sense. Somehow the comment from a child that I met who said he envy's my English, to me is somewhat inappropriate due to the fact I'm being critisized my lack of skill in the language by people I meet on the street.

And just yesterday my dad bought Zhang Zhen Yue's album called "OK" and there is this track on the album other than track 1 which is "思念是一种病" its the track number 8 which is "小宇". Reason being it has the message I really want to tell the girl I like right now. The girl I can't get out of my head, that girl which in a way her name echos in the endless halls of my mind. The chorus in my rough translation says that "we won't care about what happens in the future as long as we are happy now, we won't care about the ending as long as the one I miss is you, I won't treat love as a game because the one I'm in love with is you." Haha how I wish so deeply she could hear me sing those words to her and actually believe it and tell me that she would give me a chance to be with her. As much as I hope for it I know it could be near impossible unless we could be closer than we are now which in a strange twist of fate I doubt can happen. And well the ending of the song is "if you still don't believe me, don't fret I'll just disappear from your life slowly and quietly"

Don't tell me I have to do the same as that part of the lyrics, cause even if she doesn't fall for me I wish that we could just still be close friends not cause its second best but its cause she's really that good a person I'm willing to trust every thing I have in my memory with her as I would with the rest of my very close friends.

I'm just at a loss at what to do now.

Why isn't there a compass to guide the lost sailor on a starless night....::

.:Fireport blogged on 7:51 PM:.
...