::Hey you know what?
I'm kinda jealous of the people around me
Not to wallow in self pity
But its that
I feel I always get the short end of the stick ya know?
It might be my own doing but
I still feel I'm helluva unlucky when it comes to love
lol
Those who I've sinned against have found a true and connecting love
Those who have left me sad
Have also found such things
Its like everyone else around me is happy with someone
haha
Its good too
but it leaves me lonely somehow
I feel very lonely all of a sudden
In the midst of all this joy around me
Seeing my friends find their special ones
I feel a sad pang of loneliness and despair
I feel that I've lied to myself time and again in the past
Wanting each girl to be the one I could stay with
Without any regret or such
Of course I don't regret being their boyfriend
but I do regret the wrongs I've done
Is it normal?
I don't know
I am a sinner
and in this sinners body
You can see the price I paid
Provided I take of my shirt
haha
Which I won't till I get abs
I hope I can reconnect with all of my ex-girlfriends
Become good friends with them
and maybe just maybe
If they let me
Atone for my sins
In this sense
Sin is not something against God
But something I did that was against my own set of principles
I hate myself for that
But it is a price I have to pay
I think its time I paid my master a visit.
Maybe?
I'm not sure
Its been 3 years since I've seen him
or bothered to visit
He might kill me
but heck
I don't really care
I might visit him
Provided I remember to
But then again I might not
He told me to find love
and find strength in it
before returning
I haven't really found either
I only found a lot of wrong turns
lol
And heck its not I lost faith in love
Its that I don't think I'm worthy of it
With what i have done
So until a girl can accept me for all my sins
I think I'll be single till then
Or rather
I won't fall in love till I can find a girl who could
Of course I'd still fancy girls
and turn to putty in their hands
as usual
but still
It doesn't mean I love them
I have a feeling
The girl I might really fall for
I'd catch her with a glass of red wine in her hands
or a game controller
either way
haha
It still works
heck enough of this post
lol
You must be bored
Go do something with your life
haha
Shoo
Come back tomorrow
I'll post again tomorrow::

.:Fireport blogged on 6:02 PM:.
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