::Today got promoted to a Staff Sergant!!!!!!
haha
Well today's weariness comes from various factors....
The night before due to my anticipation...
I spent the whole bloody night polishing my boots....
So that was like after Wushu class which is fucking tiring....
And i couldn't sleep at all....
The only shut eye I got so far was the three hours of sleep in the afternoon....
The worse part is that I went to BB in polo and jeans due to someones mistake of giving me wrong info....
And got a scolding from every single person of higher ranking.....
God damn it all to hell....
Other reasons today include playing ball before and after BB even though I was exhausted from the night before and slightly dehydrated.....
Thankfully my girlfriend was there to mentally support me and that kept me thru the day without passing out or killing people....
After that went to my grandma's and had dinner there...
Watched the show Uptown girls and such....
Hahahha
Its a nice show
Dakota Fanning is like sooooo uptight than some grown up called Molly is the exact opposite!!!!
Its so stupid hahaha!!!
Planning to ton with dar on thursday....
So yeah hahahah
......
Why do I still find myself frowning when I smile...
After I laugh....
I'm unhappy about something ? I guess.....
Not sure what it is....
It isn't you...
Maybe it's me...
Either way I have to find that out on my own......
Why sometiumes I ask about your past with him.....
Is cause I always find the past interesting....
Yet its contridicting...
The more I talk about your past with him the more I get mad....
yet the more I ask about it the more interesting it gets...
It may be a little late to tell you this since I most probally won't be asking about him for about many years of our life together....
Well thats pretty much it about that person...
I hate him....
Yet Ironicly I find him interesting....
Its confusing thats all....
But the main focus is all about you....
Nothing but you.....
I really wish...
Hope....
Want....
That one day...
Without fail....
I can make you smile....
and not frown at all....
That we can be happy the whole day....
Without you looking sad....
Just one....
JUST ONE.....
Is enough....
I know that day won't come so soon....
Not until HE is out of your heart.....
I won't stop trying till he is...
To my dying breath....
I swear...
I WILL MAKE SURE HE WILL NO LONGER BE A REASON FOR YOU TO BE SAD.......
If I give up in this half way.....
I swear to god...
That heaven will strike me with a bolt of lightning....
That will kill me and send me to the place I belong.....
I want you to be happy thats all.....
If by one unfortunate day....
By one unfortunate chance...
Letting you be happy means letting you go.....
I'll do everything to make you stay...
But if you leave...
As long as he loves you more than me....
If you can be happier with him...
I'll let go...
Only if its the last thing I can do....
Only if there is nothing left to be done...
I'll let go...
I won't be happy about it....
I might even die because of it...
But I will let go....
AS long as your happy...
I'll sacrifice anything I can to keep that smile on your face....
anything...............
--- Ellumic Signing Off ---::

.:Fireport blogged on 11:06 PM:.
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