::Sometimes its a blessing to be ignorant.........
That's what she says.......
Sometimes its better to not have lived through so much.....
And learn to lie to everyone but the one you love most.........
I can lie to anyone......
I can lie to my parents.....
I can lie to my friends....
I can't lie to her no matter what.......
I know i broke my promise to her.....
I regret even talking to him.........
I hope you can forgive me......
Even if the world was lost and everything died....
I can't lose you....
Your too precious to me....
I know you try to stay happy for my sake sometimes....
But I just wish you could be happy for yourself.....
I don't know how to help change your mood when your sad.....
How can do anything to help you when I'm clueless......
Even though I can promise you that I won't ever talk to him again....
Unless fate has a nice twisted sense of humour that forces me and him to be in the same physical space.......
I'm not sure a hundred percent that you may trust me.....
I will try to make you trust me again no matter what......
I know that you love me.....
I also know that you love him still......
Know this....
I will not stop trying.....
I will not stop loving you.....
I want you to be able to love me more than him.....
Its selfish....
But its what I want......
I won't lie to you.....
I won't keep secrets from you anymore......
so here's one that I did keep from you.....
I feel Julius deserves to die in a car accident with money up his ass.......
yeah that's pretty much every thing I kept from you.....
Forever may not be enough to do what I wish to do......
I don't know....
I feel like crying every time I see that sad look on your face.....
Your a bad liar.....
You know that .....
I've told you that so many times....
Your face betrays what you say.....
I on the other hand....
Choose to be obvious with my lies.....
I just wish you'd notice when I'm happy or sad more easily......
Its not easy to open up your emotions after trying to hide them for so long.....
Take it from someone who knows about hiding emotions.....
From seeing death....
From feeling death.....
From knowing death.....
Death may be beautiful.....
But that's because life is existent in this world......
Emotions bring colour to my otherwise black and white world.....
I'm not colour blind but I'm insensitive....
There are only three things you don't know about me yet....
They will reveal themselves to you in due time....
They are not secrets....
But rules I've set for myself.....
I've planned majority of what has happened to my life in these 16 years...
I always forgot to calculate the emotional factor and the level of stress I can handle.....
You are my solution to all my problems....
The support for soul....
You are the most important thing in my life now.....
All else doesn't matter.....
I can live without my money, games, lies and friends.....
I can't live without you.....
My dreams can only be realised with your support....
Not financially or physically.....
But mentally and spiritually....
You are my cure to every sickness I have....
To also the poison that runs in my veins that have troubled me so.....
All my pain is gone when your around....
The only pain I feel when your there is that when you look sad or troubled but choose not to tell me so......
You lack of trust in me is the only thing that ailes me....
It is also the only hurdle we have left to cross.....
Forever may seem long.....
But I will love you for that long....
Since forever doesn't seem long enough.....
I love you....
I need you.....
I want you......

--- Ellumic Signing Off ---::

.:Fireport blogged on 9:35 PM:.
...